40 Seconds In Heaven?

I passed out in EMT class. Uh, ya...It really happened. It was an inner-ear thing. Yes, your ears can mess with your equilibrium that much! However, it did not help that we were studying "Soft Tissue Injuries" that night. It almost happened again at work a few days later, so I'm pretty sure the class subject matter wasn't the cause. Pretty sure. I went to the doc and got some antibiotics...so all is good now.

My stint on the floor of the classroom was somewhat enlightening. Although I am still trying to decipher everything that went down that evening, I learned a lot about myself by looking back at my short trip to la la land. The events that lead up to my deep sleep went something like this: I felt like crap before class but went anyways. In hind sight, this was probably not my best decision. I likely had a fever, but I chose not to check it because it wouldn't have kept me from going to class. Soft Tissue Injuries is a very large chapter in the EMT textbook. I do not like to get behind. I tend to stress out over school, grades, etc. I had it in my mind that I was going to class no matter what. Boy, did I ever live to regret that! I got to class early to study for an expected quiz...yet, no quiz. I was burning up. I sipped some water. The water wasn't really helping...so, I sipped some more water. The lecture: gore, Gore, and more GORE! But let me just make this clear, I had read the chapter beforehand and studied all of the pictures. The lecture was just an embellishment of what I had already studied. I started to feel...funny. Hot. Head pounding. I sipped some more water. Nothing...blasted water.

That's it.

That's all I remember before waking up to my instructor's voice calling my name and realizing he was looking down at me while I was laying on the floor next to where I had been sitting. What in the freak?!? I thought to myself. I started to become more oriented. What in the freak?!? He asked me if I wanted an ambulance. What...What in the freak?!? NO! was my response. So, He had them cancel the one that they had called! What in the...well, you get the idea of my general thoughts at the time. Apparently, or so I was told, I had been sitting at my table, put my head down in my book, and did not lift it back up. We have small rectangle tables that two students can sit at that serve as desks in our classroom. My friend sitting next to me became concerned when I did not respond to him. I never found out how they got me from my chair to the floor. I don't think that I really want to be enlightened on those details. I was not alert. I did not respond to their verbal stimulus. The next step in determining a person's level of consciousness is to inflict pain upon them to see if they respond. We usually do this by giving the patient a sternal rub. It's kind of like giving a noogie to your sternum or breastbone. Try it...how does that feel? It wasn't until a week later that I realized my instructor had done this to me. He was lecturing and talked about eliciting a pain response. He said, "We all got to see that one first hand in class last week." And everyone looked at me. I smiled and waved. All the while thinking, Umm...excuse me?...haha...joke all you want...but I don't remember that demonstration. Could you explain please?!?

So ya, now I am the butt of all the jokes in class. But the funny thing is, I don't really care. Maybe I'm in denial. Or maybe I detached myself from what happened, but I kind of think it's funny myself. My family was afraid that I would be too embarrassed to show my face back at class. By the way, I did continue with the lecture that night until I could get someone to come and give me a ride home. We all felt it was in everyone's interest that I did not drive myself home that night. I was not too embarrassed, although I did skip class the next night because I still felt like crap. I did second guess myself and think the gore was the reason for my trip to the great unknown. I didn't want to drop like that in one of my clinicals at the ER or on the ambulance. I did not want to create more problems by passing out in an emergency situation where someone else's life was on the line. But I got over it. The medication I got from the doctor cleared up my vertigo and all is back to normal.

This is all a long round-about way of getting to the point of my blog post. When I was unconscious, I did not realize I was unconscious. Confused? Join the club! I remember what I was thinking when I was out of it. It was like a dream. Maybe it was a dream...I don't know. Like I said, I remember sitting at my desk.....then......waking up on the floor. Before I woke up, though, I recall feeling like I was somewhere else. Hang in there for a minute while I try to explain. I remember sitting at a table. It was like I was at a party or something. I was having the most wonderful conversation with someone...not sure who it was. We were laughing and hooting it up! I felt peace. I felt happy. I felt so alive. It was such an amazing feeling and an amazing place and an awesome conversation with this person (I just can't seem to see what their face looks like, on recall). Then...I hear, "Kandace, Kandace?" And return to consciousness. As I became more and more oriented to my surroundings, I remember thinking NOOOOO! I want to go back to that place! It was so wonderful!

Crazy, huh?!?

I've never passed out before. I'm not well versed on what happens to people when they are so out of it. Where did I really go? Mentally speaking, of course. That night got me thinking about a lot of things. What just happened? Being the major question. But I also wondered if people in a vegetative state have "Happy Places" that they live in? Do coma patients? Is this why some people stay unconscious for a long time? Are they hooting it up and don't realize they are not in reality? Even though I enjoy my life...my unconscious place...whatever that means...like I said, I had a strong desire to go back there...wherever there is. Still confused? Exactly. It's difficult to describe. I wonder if anyone else who has ever experienced unconsciousness could enlighten me as to whether of not they experienced similar feelings? Do some of the kids I work with have these "Happy Places"? I can only hope.

My sister and I joke that maybe I was in Heaven. Ha...I know that's not really funny, but it would explain a lot. But now that I'm looking at my choice for a title...40 Seconds In Heaven...I'm thinking that that sounds like some awful "game" junior high kids used to play at mixed parties back in the day. I think a closet was involved. Not that I would know on a personal level. I was prohibited from attending such gatherings. So, maybe that's just in my head too.

Whatever the case, and wherever I went...I just have one confession to make:
Hi, my name is Kandi...and I passed out in EMT class.

I am more than happy to discuss my thoughts on all of this with you in detail. But please, do not say, "At least if you were going to pass out, you did it in a good place...you know...EMT class?" Because I've heard that one before!